Movie Review

Bermuda Island (2023)

0.5/5

A minute in, and you can’t hear the dialogue because there is a beat in the background on loop. Fantastic sign. You increase the volume to hear the actor’s mumbling. BAMM. A shootout and the sound effects are 500% louder than the dialogue. Fantastic. The title starts with music. Some sort of exposition is given through fake news reports. Can’t hear it because of the music.

What I’m trying to say is that releasing films where the sound mixing was obviously done by a deaf person is an insult to your audience. I’m not asking for perfection, just basic competence.

Even a character exclaims “You’ve got to speak up!” at one point.

Okay, fine, the sound sucks. This is a movie called “Bermuda Island,” what did I expect?

Tom Sizemore is in this. It’s one of the 70 films he shot the last year before his death, and he looks rough. Like real rough. The other actors are unknown to me and for good reason.  They play a motley crew that end up stranded on an island when their plane crashes.

Plot-twist, the island is inhabited by some kind of humanoid monster men, but are the real monsters or are the humans invading their island the real monsters? Yes, the monsters are the real monsters.

The island might be in the Bermuda triangle. The movie title suggests it, but I couldn’t hear enough of dialogue to confirm it. It’s amazingly bad and not in a fun way.

Bermuda Island (2023)
Random Reviews
Carny (2009)
Carny (2009)
2.5/5
Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992)
Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992)
2.5/5
In the Spider’s Web (2007)
In the Spider’s Web (2007)
1.5/5
The Nun (2005)
The Nun (2005)
2.5/5
Ghoulies IV (1994)
Ghoulies IV (1994)
2/5
Ferocious Planet (2011)
Ferocious Planet (2011)
1.5/5
Vipers (2008)
Vipers (2008)
1/5
Children of the Corn (1984)
Children of the Corn (1984)
2/5