Imagine trying to find a doctor in a poor Indian village and the village people point to a hut. You go into the hut and the doctor is a dirty old white dude with thick long fingernails. You then realize that the doctor is Lance Henriksen, and he is obsessed with spiders. He also has a brother with a sack on his head and he tries to feed you rotten fruit. What are you going to do?
That’s the question the characters in “In the Spider’s Web” must face. Their friend was bitten by a venomous spider, and she doesn’t look good. Hobo Henriksen is their only hope. They stay and, well, spiders.
We get a lot of spiders. We got real spiders, plastic spiders, gif spiders, poorly rendered CGI spiders and spiders that are just still images moved across the screen. Is the spider species consistent? No, in one scene the species of the spiders’ changes at least 4 times depending on the angle and what stock 3D model the filmmakers could download for free in 2007. I’m not talking like a tarantula and a slightly different tarantula. The spiders go from being black widows to tarantulas to huntsmen… it’s comically bad.
The plot is inane. Hobo Henriksen in the natives are harnessing organs from travelers via spider bites to sell on the black market and his brother is some kind of spider hybrid. It’s stupid. The film is stupid even for a SyFy Maneater film. Lance Henriksen only took the job for a free trip to India and he tells us this with his eyes.
