Movie Review

Rise of the Gargoyles (2009)

Part of the Maneater series
2/5

So, in the olden days of video tapes, soap operas were shot on the cheapest stuff possible. The tapes had a lower resolution; however, they had a higher frame rate. That’s why soap operas look weird. Modern TVs often have the soap opera filter on by default. Motion interpolation or smoothing. It “adds” frames in between the 24 frames per second that were shot. I hate it. I hate it with passion. I turn it off wherever I go. The effect is added digitally in modern soaps to keep viewers happy and by Peter Jackson when he doesn’t want me to watch The Hobbit. Rise of the Gargoyles is shot with motion interpolation, making it the cheapest looking Maneater film I’ve watched (this is number 20).

It does start with a bang though, or the maneaters show up with a bang. The first real shot we see of a gargoyle is one flying toward a woman and punching her head right off. Didn’t expect it but I did appreciate it.

Rise of the Gargoyles (2009)
Rise of the Gargoyles (2009)

The film is about a gargoyle expert who happens upon a hidden chamber under a church in Paris that by happenstance houses living gargoyles. The gargoyles use their newfound freedom to kill French people. The actor who portrays the expert looks “soap opera handsome.” If I understood the film correctly, he lost all credibility when he wrote about how gargoyles were animals of ancient mythology or something.

Gargoyles as living things is a 20th century invention, not part of any mythology I know of. The statues were sometimes believed to ward off evil spirits, but mostly they were just cool as fuck statues to put on buildings.

The movie follows the professor and a stupid French detective who thinks it might be the professor who is punching people’s head off. It’s not the most interesting thing and like tradition, the acting is subpar. The CGI, however, is surprisingly good. The gargoyles look, I dare say, rather real, which is not something you expect from a SyFy film. I wouldn’t watch it again, though.

Rise of the Gargoyles (2009)

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The Maneater Series

Behemoth (2011)
0.5/5
Black Swarm (2007)
2/5
Blood Monkey (2007)
0.5/5
Carny (2009)
2.5/5
Croc (2007)
2/5
Eye of the Beast (2007)
2.5/5
Ferocious Planet (2011)
1.5/5
Grizzly Rage (2007)
0.5/5
Hellhounds (2009)
1/5
High Plains Invaders (2009)
2.5/5
The Hive (2008)
0.5/5
Hybrid (2007)
1/5
In the Spider’s Web (2007)
1.5/5
Malibu Shark Attack (2009)
1/5
Maneater (2007)
2/5
Rise of the Gargoyles (2009)
2/5
Roadkill (2011)
1.5/5
Sand Serpents (2009)
0.5/5
Scarecrow (2013)
2.5/5
Sea Beast (2008)
2.5/5
Shark Killer (2015)
2/5
Shark Swarm (2008)
2/5
Something Beneath (2007)
1/5
Swamp Devil (2008)
1.5/5
The Hollow (2015)
1.5/5
Vipers (2008)
1/5
Wyvern (2009)
3/5
Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon (2008)
2/5
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