Movie Review

Blood Monkey (2007)

Part of the Maneater series
0.5/5

In 1985, F. Murray Abraham won an Academy Award for Amadeus. In 2007, F. Murray Abraham gained twenty pounds by chewing the scenery in Blood Monkey. I am not judging him for being in this flick. Actors don’t receive money for having won an Oscar decades ago and they have bills to pay. Plus, a free trip to Thailand.

Abraham plays a mad professor who thinks he has found the missing link between humans and the great apes. Not fossils, but the actual species that separates us living in a forest in Thailand. That species is thought to have been around about 7 million years ago and lived in Africa, so it’s been busy moving and hiding from us. Also, the last link between humans and apes was the ancestor of humans and chimpanzees. I’ve no idea why it would have been massive like the creature here or why it would have infrared vision.

I’ve now spent more time thinking about the missing link that the writers of this film.

Blood Monkey (2007)
Blood Monkey (2007)

Or anyone involved in the production, for that matter, and I know this because the fucking thing isn’t in the movie. It literally has one scene and then it’s just a Big Foot with fangs. What kind of a made for TV monster movie doesn’t show you the fucking monster throughout? Asinine. Instead we get to see from the creatures eyes. Sometimes it’s in red like Nintendo’s Virtual boy, sometimes it sepia with a hint of colors. Always different, just like vision is in real animals.

Instead, we have six young adult college students that have arrived in Thailand to help the mad professor in his mission. 95% of the film is them being boring in the jungle. I couldn’t tell you anything about anyone of these characters. They are all useless like this film.

Blood Monkey (2007)

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The Maneater Series

Behemoth (2011)
0.5/5
Black Swarm (2007)
2/5
Blood Monkey (2007)
0.5/5
Carny (2009)
2.5/5
Croc (2007)
2/5
Eye of the Beast (2007)
2.5/5
Ferocious Planet (2011)
1.5/5
Grizzly Rage (2007)
0.5/5
Hellhounds (2009)
1/5
High Plains Invaders (2009)
2.5/5
The Hive (2008)
0.5/5
Hybrid (2007)
1/5
In the Spider’s Web (2007)
1.5/5
Malibu Shark Attack (2009)
1/5
Maneater (2007)
2/5
Rise of the Gargoyles (2009)
2/5
Roadkill (2011)
1.5/5
Sand Serpents (2009)
0.5/5
Scarecrow (2013)
2.5/5
Sea Beast (2008)
2.5/5
Shark Killer (2015)
2/5
Shark Swarm (2008)
2/5
Something Beneath (2007)
1/5
Swamp Devil (2008)
1.5/5
The Hollow (2015)
1.5/5
Vipers (2008)
1/5
Wyvern (2009)
3/5
Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon (2008)
2/5
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